A few short weeks ago I was innocently scrolling through my Facebook feed before I went off to bed for my evening meditation and some z’s when I noticed a question from a girl (who I’d met before) on a group page asking for advice about reducing the weekly Sunday evening anxiety sesh…
I wasn’t to know that this question was to be the catalyst of a new role I would have never seen myself doing!
Of course the coach/counsellor in me offered up some lengthy advice (I’m not awesome at keeping it brief!) and that was that, I thought. Moments later more and more comments started popping up with a few girls asking about how to start meditation group.. In that moment, without hesitation, without my ego stepping in to crush my idea, like it was the most natural thing in the world, I typed: ‘I can facilitate it..’.
Comments flew back with “Count me in”, “I’d love that”… and right there in front of my eyes a new part of me was born, or perhaps more accurately.. uncovered.
A few steps back:
I’m a Leo: I’m not afraid of public speaking, in fact I revel in it! I’ve always liked working with and talking to groups.
Recently my mum, who is highly intuitive, said she kept seeing me talking to groups, standing up on a stage somewhere. ‘Cool!’ I kept thinking, but believing this was way down the track for me and where I was on my path as a coach and energy worker and hopefully public speaker.
But, when divine intervention calls you’ve better be ready to show up!
Since that moment a few weeks ago, things have FLOWED effortlessly. The right venue presented itself, the tickets sold out (still pinching myself!), I was given access half an hour early to the venue on Sunday, which I didn’t plan for, but was so glad I had it to set up our sacred space in a relaxed and grateful state, my ideas for the first & second sessions worked smoothly. The feedback has been heart-swelling. It’s all just been perfect. And, this has kind of shocked me, a little!
You see, I am a person who totally believes in divine guidance and love but I have held this fairly outdated belief that I have to put in 100% of my effort to pull off anything good. Focus my attention, manifest my little heart out, read affirmations daily til I get what I want. But, this experience has changed me and shifted my perception in a big way.
For a while now I’ve been leaning into the word, feeling and embodiment of TRUST, in the divine sense. For many of us, I believe this can be a challenge because we are somewhat programmed to believe that we have control over our lives. And of course we do on some level, but not completely (I believe).
I realised I had to take ‘Trust’ more seriously and with more conviction back in 2011/2012 when my husband and I decided we were ready to have kids. At the same time I also consciously decided that I was going to spend the next while working through as much crap as I could: limiting beliefs, negative beliefs, forgiveness, body image stuff etc, so my baby didn’t inherit my issues (as much as I could help), and in the hopes that working through my stuff would make me a better person and mum.
So, we commence project-baby and I thought after one or two months wham-bam I’d have a baby growing in my belly. Yeah well, no. That certainly didn’t happen. Months and months went by and I got stressed (not ideal as stress produces cortisol hormone which overrides many of your good hormones that you need to get pregnant..). I continued to work on myself, seeking healing and holistic counselling for the big stuff that was coming up thick and fast, and journaling my little heart out, using crystals and rituals for the smaller things. After nine months, I finally found out in comical circumstances that I was in fact nearly 7 weeks pregnant – woops!
Looking back at that time, I had made a decision to have a baby but I had also very consciously made a decision to work through my stuff. This baby-making stress brought out ALL my insecurities, my limiting beliefs and the trust issues I had with myself and the divine. ALL of it needed to come up, ALL of it needed my attention. And thus, it actually flowed perfectly. (Stressfully perhaps, but perfect).
I had to trust that everything was happening in divine order. And while I can always continue to challenge myself, better myself and get mentally and spiritually stronger divine timing really isn’t my business, and certainly not mine to manipulate!
That situation really wrote home for me about my steadfast belief that I can’t actually control the world around me. It is just not possible. I can control my thoughts, I can control the type of person I strive to be, I am in control of my mind, I am a co-creator of my life and I can manifest amazing life situations and stuff like best of them.. but still things happen out of the blue which are not in my control (divine timing), but for whatever reason are for my highest good.
I believe that often we resist our own FLOW. I did this for years, and maybe I still do it a little bit now if I’m honest. Our minds are so consumed by trying to tick all the boxes of what the outside world expects of us, and keep up the façade we created for ourselves that we fail, quite dismally, to seek our own advice and truly listen to our own voice, to watch the signs around us which are in fact pointing us in a happier and more truthful direction.
Funnily enough (given my new role) and coming full circle, I do believe that meditation is one way to bring ourselves back to ourselves. That inner-peace and quiet we feel when we meditate gives space to feel and listen to ourselves clearly without the noise of our ego (negative beliefs and false perception of ourselves), and others ideas and ideals. It relaxes us, and brings back closer to state of Grace. When we’re in that space we feel more connected to our truth, more at peace with life going about its crazy-ways, at one with the universe and your own calling.
One of the meditations I shared on Sunday at the meditation circle was one I do often in the shower, I also add affirmations or mantras to this which inspire me for the day, or bring me back to myself in the evening. So, i thought i’d share..
Decide to be in a relaxed state. Decide while getting undressed, and as you turn on the water
Relax your body and get the temperature right where you like it.
Notice the water, and how it feels on your body.
Feel your feet squish into the water below, feel grounded and steady.
Notice the sound of the water coming out of the shower head.
You may decided to continue this as you wash your body with soap: feeling the foamy sensation, notice the smell – is it relaxing or rejuvenating.
If your mind wanders off, when you notice it, just imagine that the water is taking those thoughts away, washing them from your being down the drain and simple bring your awareness back to the here and now. The water, your body, the sounds.
Do your mantra or affirmation as you sink into the feeling of the water. Keep repeating as it keeps you focused.
Love to hear your thoughts about Trust and Flow… are you in this state at the moment? If not, what is your body telling you need right now to feel this flow?
PS: September’s meditation circle is now up on my workshops/events page!