Who of us struggles with forgiveness?

I’m guessing.. everyone’s hands are up right about now?!

It feels hard. It feels SO un-doable at times, with certain people and situations.

I get it.

I’ve been there. Grasping on to the ‘story’. Gripping tightly to anger, or fear, or disappointment, or jealousy, or pain. Holding on with dear life to the words “I am right. You are wrong. My pain and suffering matters more.”

Oh yeah. I get it alright. 

Forgiveness has been an area of interest to me for many many years. I’ve talked a lot about Radical Forgiveness (by Collin Tipping) on the blog, as that was my first introduction to the Truth about forgiveness. (**I highly recommend the read – you can read the first chapter here: Jills Story – Radical Forgiveness!)

The lie we have been told about forgiveness is the story which says: You are right and ‘They’ are wrong. And we believe this, by saying: “I forgive you for what You Did.”

And so, even in the essence of traditional forgiveness we are saying “I am right and You are wrong.”

We’ve been fed this lie from all the big religions in the world. Not by God, but by man.

And our ego, oh how she loves this lie! In fact she loves it so much, she totally believes it.

“Of course I am right. This person hurt my feelings, or physically hurt me, or crushed by soul, or did something illegal…

I am right. I am hurt. He/She is wrong.”

Our ego has been taught to live in Fear, and so by believing the “I am right you are wrong” story your ego is trying to protect you. Bless?!

But the thing is, the true essence of us is pure and simple and all consuming LOVE. When we take away all the beliefs we have about ourselves and our false perceptions. We are Love. And, Love doesn’t need protecting. Love is All there is. So when we are unable to forgive we are giving into our false perceptions, we are handing our power over to Fear.

So, what are we so fearful of?

We fear we are not good enough, that we won’t been seen or heard, that we are unloveable, that we aren’t smart, or pretty, or cashed up enough, that we’ll be abandoned, that we’ll be suffocated..

We think it’s natural because everybody believes the same thing. The media is telling us we aren’t enough, our governments are telling us we aren’t enough, our friends and families believe the same lie so they are telling us we are not enough, even religion tells us that we are separate from God, we are sinners before we are even born.. and therefore not enough. Phew… talk about a downer!!

Thankfully though, it is all a lie. A complete falsity. And, when you make the decision to shift, to feel the Truth about who you are big leaps forward being to happen and you are able to come at everything from a space of Love.

Do you want to come from a space of Love? Be Love? Feel Love? Even when someone has done something that is perceived as being ‘wrong’?

I know I do!

Personally, this is a constant work-in-progress for me.  I want to be Love all the time. But I am also human and with that comes my tricky brain and ego. BUT, I am always ‘willing’ to look for the Love in any situation.

Below is a video which may help you to start to shift (even just slightly) your perceptions around forgiveness and begin to head towards Love.

So to re-cap in the video I offered 5 steps to begin this process of real, truthful and loving forgiveness…

// Willingness to want to forgive

// Willingness to look at the situation differently, with Love and your highest good in mind

// Understanding that life is a mirror. Asking: What is this situation reflecting to me?

// Asking what would Love do right now?

// When you forgive you open up vast space for something better.

Would love to hear from you! How do you feel about forgives? Do you find it hard? Has this video helped you shift, or even start to feel a willingness to want to forgive?

With love and grace,

Catherine x x

2 thoughts on “Forgiveness.

  1. So… what happens when if you CANT forgive yourself?. What happens when you feel too unworthy? As someone who has been in codependent relationships since 16, i dont think its really always the other person. Inspiring blog though.

    • Thank you for your question :) Can i ask what exactly cant you forgive yourself over? Remembering, all you have to do is be willing to forgive.. as a starting point? You are most CERTAINLY worthy of your own forgiveness, no matter what you ‘perceive’ you’ve done ‘wrong.’ It’s not that the other person is wrong per say, this article was explaining how you can use relationships as a path to healing – seeing in others, what you resides within you.. and then doing the healing work on yourself – through forgiveness (as one path – but from the more i read, its THE path!). If you would like to have a complimentary chat about this, i would be more than happy to. Or check out youtube and look up marianne williamson and forgiveness, she talks about it wonderfully. Or the recent book i read call zero limits which is all about the hawaiian forgiveness healing called ho’oponopono x x

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