How to chose Love over Fear..

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Over the past few months I have immersed myself in written and spoken words related to A Course in Miracles, mostly words by the wonderful student and teacher of the Course, Marianne Williamson.

I was honoured to see her speak last year, and while I had read part of her book A Return to Love years before, I’m reading it now with fresh eyes, and devouring all the wisdom she has to offer.

She talks a lot about Miracles being a shift in perception from fear to Love. She uses the language of the Course, which is written in traditional Christian language used in very untraditional ways. To be honest, these words resonate at the very core of who I am and I am loving it.

The Course talks about in every moment there are only two options: Love or fear. So you can choose to see, speak, act, remember or think through either of those lenses. It’s a choice and You are solely responsible, regardless of what is presented.

Something I read last week has really helped me to question everything – in a good way!

In her book, Marianne writes: “..everything someone does, says the Course, is either ‘love or a call for love.’ If someone treats us with love then of course love is the appropriate response. If they treat us with fear, we are to see their behaviour as a call for love.”

So, when someone is acting from fear (remembering we only have two options – love or fear) it is really a ‘call for love’.

This concept melted me, immediately.

Of course, we are human. We get annoyed, angry, hurt, disappointed.. that feels natural. I certainly do!

But, wouldn’t it be good to have another way to view these pains?

Here’s a little exercise:

For a moment, I invite you to sit still and bring to mind a situation which has annoyed you recently maybe someone was rude, nasty, un-loving… Bring that situation up in your mind, and you may notice you feel those negative emotions, that’s ok.

Now, see if you can look at that act, which we will call an act of fear, as a ‘Call for Love’.

Sit with that for a moment.

Do you feel a softening? Do you feel a hint of compassion for the other person?

When I read this I thought about a couple of not very exciting situations I could try this change of perspective on, ones in which “gosh that was rude” type feelings came up for me… and really quickly I felt a shift to a more compassionate view of the person I initially thought was rude.

Then I thought about a situation where I felt a little more angry.. and surprisingly, the same thing happened. I softened and quickly felt empathy for the other person.

It’s not saying certain behaviour is acceptable, it is just about understanding that unless behaviour is clearly coming from a space of unconditional love, it’s coming from fear. And when we or others act from a space of fear – that is really a ‘call for love’.

For me, this was profound.

It is SO much nicer, and lets be honest more natural, for us to live from a place of Love instead of fear. It’s tricky though because the world tells us we should fear everything! We need to fear speaking up, not speaking up enough, fear getting sick, fear feeling healthy – coz we’ll get sick soon enough!, fear not finishing school, fear wasting our money on degrees, fear our neighbours, fear not knowing our neighbours.. the list is endless and oh-so tiring!

And so, I ask… want do you think about choosing Love over Fear?!

For me, I feel it’s my responsibility to do so. For me and for my family. I need to learn a new way – this fear based way of the world just didn’t work for me. And as I learn a new way.. I need to practice ‘being’ a new way..

Love over fear!

Catherine x x x



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